I have a confession to make… I absolutely love liverwurst. Call it my German and English heritage, but I find that creamed mass of liver meat delectable. Sure, it’s smelly. I wouldn’t want to kiss someone with liverwurst breath (gross!), but the aroma of a bit of liverwurst spread on a hot, toasty piece of bread with just a tad of mustard… is making me hungry just thinking about it. Although this persecuted lunch meat is a favorite of mine, I’ve learned not to bring it to work.
Liverwurst is really smelly and not something most people enjoy. I’ve just learned that the distinct smell of animal organs tends to curdle the stomachs of my sensitive vegetarian and vegan coworkers. Picture this: I’m sitting in the middle of a factory room of cubicles, we’re all plugging away mercilessly at our desks, and I decide it’s time to enjoy my special, delicious lunch. One bite in and I hear a quick scurry, scurry of feet from one desk to another.
A vegan coworker of mine says, “I’m not sure what I’m smelling over there, but it smells like bad meat and I can’t stand it anymore.”
Mind you, it’s been about 2 minutes.
The other vegan coworker says, “Oh no. That’s the worst. Let me come over and smell.” They both get closer to my cubicle as I’m trying to quietly stuff away my embarrassing lunch and conceal it from all wandering eyes. Crap. Crap. Crap.
The second vegan says, “I know that smell anywhere. That’s definitely liverwurst. Let’s go to lunch, so we don’t have to smell it any longer.”
This wouldn’t have been so bad, if I weren’t still new to the office. It wouldn’t be so bad, if I weren’t the youngest one on the floor. It wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t bring smelly food to work for lunch.
Lesson: Although liverwurst is delicious, it is a meal that should be had away from people. This rule goes for all smelly foods, including the ever-so-delicious cold tilapia sandwich. If you think you can smell it, don’t bring it.
Lesson learned, my friend. Lesson learned.