Confession time: I only eat breakfast once a week. Oh, I indulge in an enormous, dark cup of coffee every morning, but solid food generally isn’t introduced until 10 or 11.
Sunday mornings are another creature. Lunch on Sundays happens in the afternoon, and I mean that in the most literal way possible. Church dominates the entire morning on Sunday, without a chance to eat a dairy-free snack. Don’t get me wrong, I adore church. Heck, I live on church property to be more involved in Christ’s ministries. I just get hungry, that’s all.
On my favorite mornings, I indulge in an absurdly large cup of coffee and breakfast. This morning, breakfast needed to be hot, steaming, sour, sweet, and filling to battle hurricane Irene outside. I needed an epic breakfast to battle the epic storm raging out my window. Breakfast win: lemon curd oatmeal with walnuts and brown sugar.
Oh, wonderful oats. Feed them to horses and they love you. Mix them with lemon curd and they transform from bland to so captivating, you wouldn’t even notice if Katy Perry were to walk by you nude. My taste buds were so confused, I swear my eyes dimmed and my ears stopped working. There was just too much taste to handle. In fact, I still have a ringing of tinnitus in my ear, due to a reboot of all my other senses.
If you don’t know what lemon curd is, please don’t judge it on its name. Not many kids get to pick what their parents name them. Gaylord Focker, anyone? Call me Greg. Lemon curd tastes like what you get if you take most of the water out of lemonade. That’s all. It’s a sugary, lemony, thick syrup that has the magical ability to hold fruit together, transform a regular dessert into a delicacy, and satisfy your sweet tooth without adding inches to your hips. I don’t need a fairy godmother, lemon curd does the trick.
- Instant oatmeal (1 serving… trust me on this.)
- 1 tsp light brown sugar
- 1 tsp lemon curd
- Margarine, to taste
- A handful of chopped walnuts (I used glazed ones, because they were the only ones in the cupboard.)
Follow the directions for making plain oatmeal. I made one serving on the stove and cooked it about 10 times longer than instructed. Soggy oatmeal is the worst.
Once the oatmeal is in your bowl, add the light brown sugar, lemon curd, margarine and walnuts. Voilà! Your breakfast is ready. How will I ever get those 5 minutes of my life back?!?
Up next: haggis. Totes making it, like, right now.